id be glad to
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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