Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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