I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
