I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize