Swine flu. Run for my life!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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