Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
how drunk are you?
Several
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
