we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
