I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The best revenge is premature balding
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize