arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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