some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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