i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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