I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
