Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
