I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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