take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
