I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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