Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
