I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
