at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
