is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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