I love black thongs
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
