Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
