if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
this is an emotional support booty call
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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