it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
