sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
