sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
