There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
