His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think your dad took our porno
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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