We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Send help, water and tortillas.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize