I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
