Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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