She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
