So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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