i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
