so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
