That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
