Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
