My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
