I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
