Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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