sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize