I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I want to be your penis for a week.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
