Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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