Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
