I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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