Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize