It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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