I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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