Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
