Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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