therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
