Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize