i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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