They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
