This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
